she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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