i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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