Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
