i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
