So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
