Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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