i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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