I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
