Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize