If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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