You're my little dorito
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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