but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
