There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
