it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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