I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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