Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just want nice things and good sex
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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