He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
