I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
