my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
should my penis look like a turkey
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize