I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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