belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
