The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You pole danced in your parka.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
