he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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