2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
