She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
