none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
