I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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