Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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