He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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