Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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