Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
