just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
