and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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