I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
