I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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