oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
