then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
