Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
