This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We don't watch enough power rangers
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
