NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
