his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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