Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
