question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You're a waste of cheezeits
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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