Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
being pregnant is like rehab
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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