I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
false alarm, still single
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
