The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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