Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
