Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
