Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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