even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
