blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm too high and old for this...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
