You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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