Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
