You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
