I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
