Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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