The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
