I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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